Some couples process at different speeds.
When my husband is upset, he completely powers down. He’s like a computer that goes on “sleep” mode. He needs hours to assess and process. I, on the other hand, am usually ready to talk within fifteen minutes. I cool off quickly.
If I try to push him to resolve something before he’s ready, he short-circuits and reboots incessantly. There’s no chance of working things out with him before he’s ready.
Since we process at different speeds, he needs his time to be left alone, and it’s in both of our interests that I respect that.
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Sometimes you need to rest more than you need to work things out.
I can’t empathise, listen, or ask thoughtful questions if I’m tired. My fuse is shorter. My sleep-addled…