When I searched the internet for experiences of women with PND, the overwhelming narrative was of a woman, driving along in the rain with screaming children in the car, suddenly realising she was fantasising about driving off a cliff.
I did not want to die, and I didn’t want to go back to life without my new baby.
This narrative has to change. We need to learn to seek help before we start having suicidal thoughts. I fit all the risk criteria… prior pregnancy loss, history of anxiety/depression, difficult delivery, severe sleep deprivation, unsettled baby.
I’m informed, always seeking new knowledge, entered this pregnancy with a mantra of ‘If Mum thrives, baby thrives’ and am not ashamed of my mental health history.
And yet… in that typical motherly way, I was only seeking help for my baby. Sometimes we don’t even realise that we aren’t prioritising ourselves until it is…