‘I’m a woman who is still a virgin in her 30s, and this is why.’

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One day, at the age of 24, I was sitting on the balcony washing my clothes by hand. The next door neighbours were having a girls’ night in and chattering away to each other. The topic was a friend of theirs who happened to be around my age.

The conversation went something like this: ‘Yeah, she’s still a virgin. No experience. And, you know, it’s become such a big thing for her – like it’s a big problem that she’s ashamed about.’

At the time I too was a virgin. Fast-forward 8 years and I still am. In fact, I’ve never been kissed. But this feeling of shame was not something I could identify with then and it still isn’t, although it seems to be a common thing.

I wonder whether people believe that all those who get to 30+ and haven’t had a relationship feel like this.

Because it’s certainly not the case.

At 32, I’m in a reasonable position to share a perspective on…

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