I have had to look at my weaknesses head-on, forgive myself, and then work to change the things that need work. Without self-love and forgiveness, we cannot hope to be emotionally available to our child should they decide to reconnect.
5. I learned to stay open to allowing the story to change.
When a child chooses to cut us out of their life we form a story around that. In this story, we create roles for each character — what she did, what I did, who’s wrong, who’s right, who isn’t seeing things clearly, etc.
We tell ourselves this story over and over again, rehearsing it in our head and telling others when we feel safe to talk about it. The purpose of this story is to try to understand what defies understanding.
What I have found is that by creating that story, and then strengthening it day by day, I was preventing myself from coming closer to the truth.
What I learned is that as…