“I’m still doing fine,” I said. “I’m not feeling any more of a need to see him now than I was before he texted me.”
“You’re just saying that because you’re stuck in the house,” he declared.
“I’m stuck in the house, he’s stuck in the house, we’re all just stuck in the house,” I said, trying to wind down the conversation about my texting.
He remained undeterred.
“I swear to God,” he said. “If you break quarantine to go hang out with his dumb ass, and contract this virus and spread it around to everyone else, and murder the rest of humanity, and everyone has to die, all because you can’t control yourself around your ex, I’ll — ”
“You’ll be dead,” I interrupted, “Based on this ridiculous scenario you’ve just created. I’ve ‘murdered humanity’ and everyone has died, so you can stop right there because you won’t be around to do…